Times have certainly changed since the wave of the first immigrant Chinese made their way to San Francisco in 1848 during the Gold Rush era. Today, San Francisco's Chinese population is a mixture of a little bit of everything. In Chinatown, one of the best-known Chinese communities of the City, you'll find shops with roasted ducks in the window and a population that primarily speaks Chinese. But head outside of this neighborhood full of pagoda-style architecture and you'll find a Chinese American population wholly integrated in the City scene. In the financial district, yuppie bankers dress in tailored grey flannel suits while hipsters in vintage-inspired gear stroll Haight Ashbury. And so, it seems, today's Chinese American weddings embrace both Chinese and Western culture.
Trading Tea for Red Envelopes
Blending Asian and American cultures is something Vivian Chu has firsthand knowledge of. After all, getting ready for her wedding on March 26, 2005, meant getting up at 4 a.m. just to accommodate everything she needed to do that day. Vivian had two tea ceremonies: a Western-style wedding ceremony, and a full-scale Asian banquet to attend.
Donning a red, fitted cheongsam — which literally translates to "long dress" in Chinese — Vivian and groom-to-be Matt Chu participated in a tea ceremony by offering a cup of the steaming brew to each of the elders in her parent's household. Like most grooms, Matt opted to stick with the Western-style tuxedo worn in most American weddings. Traditionally, the bride offered tea as a farewell to her family. In Vivian and Matt's case, the nod to tradition didn't go unrewarded. As customary in modern-day Chinese culture, Vivian received either a red envelope containing money or jewelry for her efforts.
In traditional times, the formal tea ceremony performed for the groom's family was the last step in the wedding ritual. For Vivian and Matt, the tea ceremony at the groom's parents' house was just a prelude to their non-denominational wedding ceremony at the William E. Walker Recreational Center in Foster City. With the bride in a white wedding gown and the groom in a tuxedo, the ceremony that took place on the grounds overlooking the lagoon was not unlike any other American couple's nuptials.
Nine Courses and Forty-Two Tables
At a Chinese wedding, the reception means the more the merrier — at least when it comes to the guest list and the number of courses served. Chinese families on both the bride and groom's side often have an extensive guest list including aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, and coworkers. For Vivian and Matt, the large guest list meant they had 42 tables of guests and about 420 people attending the celebration.
No Chinese wedding would be complete without the traditional multi-course meal. Though the actual number of courses may vary, nine courses are significant because it denotes a connotation with eternity. Vivian and Matt's wedding menu included foods you'd find in many Chinese weddings: an appetizer plate including jellyfish, shark fin's soup, lobster, and fried shrimp and crab balls.
Making the Rounds
In many Chinese weddings, it's customary for the wedding couple to visit each and every table for a toast, carrying drinks in hand. But wedding couples don't go alone; they take their entourage of immediate family with them. Vivian and Matt visited each of the 42 tables with their parents and siblings. In some reception celebrations, a designated elder accompanies the bride and groom to present the newly married couple. At each of the guest tables, a designated elder will in turn make a toast to the wedding couple as well as their parents.
After toasting a whole roomful of guests, the fun was just about to begin. What do you do to cap off a Chinese banquet? Dance the night away! Like many Chinese American couples, Vivian and Matt blended Chinese tradition with contemporary fun: a live '80s band helped the couple and their guests boogie down late into the night.
Chinese Wedding Fun Facts
Fun Fact #1
The red envelope or lai see, as it's pronounced in Chinese, is given during the tea ceremony as a form of good luck.
Fun Fact #2
Though most modern-day Chinese brides do don the white gown, traditionally, the bride did not wear white because it is actually considered a color of mourning. Instead, red is the color of marriage, considered to be a color of happiness.
Fun Fact #3
Foods served at a Chinese banquet each symbolize something. Here are a few of them:
- Squab — Peace
- Lobster — Dragon
- Stir-fried vegetables with water chestnuts — Offspring
- Sweet and sour dish — Good luck
- Whole steamed fish — Abundance
